CR34T1V1TY

Tears Can’t Fall

I know you’d like a quart to snort and up until the day you fade away, I promise that nothing will ever stay the same. We can get new names and we’ll run so fast that even the past can’t reach us or breech us and we will take what it can teach us, but that is all until our fall and until we can no longer crawl. For in life, if we stall, we can stand tall by each other and if we fail we can smother each other in the brevity of our covers, our faces, our deep and dark places, our lost crowded spaces and our broken tastes. The only way to keep homeostasis is if we shake all our races, all our sexes and all our maces. This universe is special and that’s where we get our extra terrestrial. We will float in the air in the stain of our stares and I’ll bring you a star that actually lives not so far, but the electricity will blow your car and you will be left without wheels. And you don’t want to steal. So, you use it as a shield. But I am your human shield that you abandoned in a field full of burning and death and crack and meth.

I used to live with visionaries and never believed in missionaries. I stole stationary and hate all canaries. There is something about fairies, but it isn’t nice or merry and who can carry the weight of the universe without being a little wary. Is the universe good or is it bad? Does it make you happy or make you sad? Is it your mom or is it your dad? And is it the best you’ve ever had? I dare to drink what it is left in the bottle and live your life as if you’re a model of tolerable pillage and tortured souls because I am sure that being an addict was one of your goals.

Who loves you the most, I can answer that. You can stop your reflection in a bloody vat. You can see your eyes in the snide of a cat, but everyone hates you because it is like talking with a gnat. Your shine is so dull that it emits a shine. Your room is nothing but your own shrine. And in your world, there are no lines and so in your world, there are no fines.

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Beginning of piece written for the school prose competition

When I was younger, I wanted nothing more than have the whole wide world fall in love with me. All I wanted was the universe to love me. I found out that the universe is far too big of a task for any one individual to take. With love came the burden and with the burden came the failure. For the longest time, love was my failure and I found out in the most mediocre way possible – because you see, if it was in the worst way possible, it could very likely be the best way too – because this world lives in a standard deviation, but if you find yourself on the right side of the bell curve, there is a double standard that you cannot dismiss – because what could have been the worst thing, could have also been the best thing – but does that mean the best thing for you could have been the worst thing? The middle is the worst. There is nowhere to go but where you are. You understand everyone and can’t choose a side because you can’t find a side inside yourself to decide. You’re indecisive. People hate indecisive people because everyone is either on the left or on the right. Everyone is extraordinary. Everyone is except those that are in the painfully mediocre middle. I sit in the meridian that divides the good and the bad. I hear the both of them shatter my dreams of being exceptional; of being the one that the whole wide world falls in love with.

I want the whole wide world to fall in love with me because I’m in love with it, you see. How do trees look so strong and give so much shelter and still ask for nothing back? How do people take trees for granted? Even in the trees death, they are good because paper is provided. But do people ever thank the trees? Do they ever love the trees? And what about the grass? Sky? Sea? Tsunami? Hurricane? Plague? The whole wide world is not evil and yet everyday, people try to fight it. I’ve heard my friends curse at the whole wide world and it is the only thing I do not understand because the world did nothing to the people. The people did things to the people. The people should curse the people because the whole wide world didn’t kill them. The people did. Do you see the animals that live in the tree? And are those animals cutting down the tree? Are the animals arsonists? Are the animals worth thinking about? The whole wide world is hurting because we are hurting it. It tries to use the elements against us, but we have machinery. We created the arbour-genocide. They responded with washing us away with water. It is us versus them. We are against the whole wide world. We are at war with the universe and all I wanted was to have the whole wide world to fall in love with me, but how can I if the war between humans versus the whole wide world continues? I’ll tell you how. I stop the war from the inside out. I am only human and am only capable of emotions, but whose emotion is the real question. I can see, feel and dream. I lied: there is somewhere you can go when you idle in the mediation of the curve. Half of you breaks one way and the other falls the other way. You can whither on either side — you will whither on both sides. Today, it’s humans versus the whole wide world versus me.

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Where Your Imagination Will Take You - And Yes, Good Things Come in Threes

Will you be my hello kitty

Make life better when its shitty?

Take the time to make me smile

Make me love you for a while?

Will the kitty always be with me

From now until eternity?

Will the kitty help me through the day

My body here, but my mind away?

Will the kitty help me forget the bad

And repair all that I find sad?

Will the kitty hold me extra tight

When I’m shaking from my night time frights?

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Start of Forgiveness: story of the Wronged.

Hi. Your skin is brown, not red. Why can’t you see the blood on your hands? Did it wash away in the pool of selfishness and denial that you’ve made fir yourself?

Why do you think you sat by me instead of stood over me? When did ‘no’ change to ‘i want it’? Im sorry if i led you to believe i wanted it because i didnt struggle when i blacked out. and if you said i came, then maybe i wanted it after all. Maybe I’m living the sad and pathetic lie that you’re so convinced i live.

Why am I still stuck and you’re free? Why do I get triggers and pull this torture through the people that care about me? And why do I have nightmares of you? And why do I sometimes feel it when I’m happy. Why do I get reminded when I’m happy? Will I ever be happy? Was I ever happy?

My skin is yellow, not red. Why can’t I see the blood on my hands while I sit and point the finger at you for hurting me?

Hi. You’re skin is white, not red. How can you not see the blood on your hands? And when you stand and tower over the 16 year olds, do they know you steal peeks down their shirts and imagine your hand up their skirt? And how did your hand end up my skirt and into my panties when I was 16 and you were 25?

Do you know that I still remember?

Maybe it’s time to stop remembering and time to carpe diem this bitch of a life.

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you eat, you’re fat. you don’t eat, you’re a freak. you drink, you’re an alcoholic. you don’t drink, you’re a pussy. you read, you’re a nerd. you don’t read, you’re stupid. you tell a secret, you’re an attention seeker. you don’t tell a secret, you’re still attention seeking. you let someone in, you’re easy. you don’t let someone in, you’re too uptight. you smoke, you think you’re cool. you don’t smoke, you’re a loser. you’ve had sex, you’re a slut. you haven’t had sex, you’re a frigid little bitch. you wear make up, you’re a slag. you don’t wear make up, you’re ugly. you can’t please anyone. ever.

(Source: velnsology)

45,459 notes

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20 Great Things About Dating a Writer

metaphorsattack:

52hearts:

Here’s a look at 20 reasons to date a writer:

Writers will romance you with words. Dating a writer means that you will receive love letters. Quirky notes will turn up in your pockets. Flowery descriptions of everything great about you will be shared on special occasions. See my recent post on things to write someone for Valentine’s Day for an idea of what you may receive when dating a writer.

Writers will write about you. Date a blog writer and you’ll find yourself bookmarking that blog to see if there are references to you in it. Date a poet and you will see yourself reflected back in some of the lines of poetry that the person recites at open mic nights. Your narcissistic tendencies will be happily fed when you date a writer. Of course, the drawback here is that dating a writer means that personal details about you may turn up in written form and the writer may write much less flattering things about you if you break up.

Writers will take you to interesting events. Writers, as a general rule, are curious people. We like to go to lots of different types of things so that we can widen the boundaries of our life experience and therefore broaden our writing. When you date a writer, you can expect to be invited to everything from burlesque shows to roller derby races to foreign countries.

Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much.People who write for a living don’t do it to get rich. They know that money may matter but it’s not the most important thing in life. Dating a writer will help to remind you that it’s important to pursue your passions.

Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you.Writers are big on acknowledging those who have helped them. Almost every book at the bookstore has a page for dedications and / or acknowledgments. Song writers and poets frequently include a dedication on their work. Date a writer and the world will know that you’ve supported someone in the arts.

Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things.There is a writing quote about how writers taste life twice - once in the living and once in the re-telling on the page. Writers pay attention to interesting details in life so that they can recapture the world in their writing. When you date a writer, you will be privy to all of their insights about life’s events and experiences - and you may find that you get to see things in a whole new light.

Writers are smart. The majority of writers are intelligent people. They are usually well-read and well-educated which means they can hold their own in many types of conversations. Dating someone dumb just isn’t fun for long; dating someone smart is always an interesting challenge.

Writers are really passionate. Writers use all of their senses. They are passionate about their work and passionate about their lives. Your life will be enhanced by this passion for things when you date a writer.

Writers can think through their feelings. Writers may be really passionate but most of them don’t fly off-the-handle with emotion. They like to take time to process things. This ability is a true asset in a long-term relationship.

Writers enjoy their solitude. Unless you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you probably want at least some time to yourself and time to spend with your friends and family. Writers want time to be alone to write and think which means that you’ll get your own much-needed space as well.

Writers are creative. This sounds obvious but it has a deeper truth to it. Creative people are more capable of coming up with solutions to problems in life. Dating a writer means a chance to come up with creative solutions to life’s problems.

Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Sure this depends on the writer but most writers are pretty good at articulating what is going on with them. If they adore you, you’ll know it. If they’re mad at you, you probably won’t have to guess at why.

Writers will teach you cool new words. Writers love words. It can be irritating when they use ten dollar words in normal conversations but it can also be kind of fun to stretch your mind and build your vocabulary. Expect to play lots of Scrabble when dating a writer.

Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers who can set their own schedules might be willing to rearrange things to spend time with you. They might be happy to meet you for a long lunch or to spend a luxurious morning in bed with you. Don’t expect the writer you’re dating to give up all of his or her time - they have to work regularly to pay their bills just like anyone else - but do know that there are some scheduling perks possible when you date a writer.

Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you.Writers are wordy and they like to express themselves. You can bask in the glow of hearing good things about yourself in ways that you’ve never heard them before. Of course, some writers will also be all too happy to tell you your faults so make sure you date a kind writer!

Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. Most writers are pretty flexible in how they communicate. They’ll be just as content to get an email from you or to chat on IM with you as they are to talk on the phone (maybe even more so). This means that however you communicate regularly is probably fine for the writer you’re dating.

Writers can work from anywhere. This is nice because it means that writers can happily travel with you. They may have to take a laptop and spend some time at the hotel when you go to the beach but you can enjoy much easier vacation planning with a writer than with someone who works a 9-5 job.

Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Writers have a lot of characters in their lives. If you like meeting interesting people, just plan on being the date that goes along to parties and other gatherings with a writer.

Writers are easy to buy gifts for. Writers are happy with little things. Most writers like getting books as gifts. Since they aren’t really into the pursuit of money, they aren’t going to be chasing you for the big bucks you spend on them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spoil a writer if you want to but you should know that they value thoughtfulness way more than most material things.

Writers are sexy. There is a reason that people have fantasies about the school librarian. Male or female, those bookish types are hot hot hot.

I wish I was more like this!

LOL — I also wish I was more like this!

(Source: 52hearts)

4,591 notes

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A Narcissist’s Promise

There is something to be said for the things we find obsessive: boys, girls, toys, ourselves, our look, our feelings, her feelings, his feelings, big things, smalls things, generic things, specific things… The point is, we are all just obsessive. It doesn’t matter what or why or how because it only hurts us in the end, but it drives us in the time waiting and without a drive, we’re deprived and lost without any cause or means or values. What keeps our souls alive is the fuel that administrates our downfall. And what motivates that downfall is ourselves.

I can’t promise that one day I won’t commit suicide because I think everyone eventually does. No, I will not slit my wrists and no, I will not overdose on narcotics and no, I will not write any literate form of lamentation. I will, however, promise that I will live my life in respects to my comfort level. I will, however, promise that I will continue to walk the littered streets and run through the deadly parks. I will, however, promise that I will obsess over the frivolities and luxuries that so many people do not get to experience. I will, however, take advantage of the love I am given by my friends and family and use it as my pillow for smiles and laughter and comfort and respect to others and myself. I will continue to obsess over what people think of me, what I think of me, what I eat, wear and how I sleep, smell and talk. I will obsess over falling, always falling, whether it is blood on the pavement or scars from my past. I will obsess over what people are doing and if they are crying or hurting or laughing for show. I will also obsess over what I’m doing and if I am crying or hurting or laughing for show. Because how the hell would I know? And I will always wonder if my bracelets really are bad for me and if it is because I want to be bound and never free. I will obsess over the emotion of happiness because it reveals itself as a clusterfuck to me. I will obsess over my constant need to sing or starve or cry. I will obsess over a loneliness that may or may not come. I promise that I will obsess over these things.

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